Neighbor Teaches a Lesson

I had long wondered about our next door neighbors, Johnny and Sue.  They seemed nice enough, but a little different.  I got the idea they took matters into their own hands.  Boy, was I about to find out how true that was.

It started with my yard.  I admit, I'm a little lax with the yardwork.  What's the big deal?  Sue apparently thought the state of our yard was a big deal indeed, when she called across the fence to me one day.  In so many words, she told me I'd better get on it.  I told her to calm down and be patient.  This seemed to anger her and she gave an ultimatum-if I didn't rake the leaves by the next day, she was going to come over and personally supervise me doing it.  I told her to take a hike and went inside.

The next evening came, and of course I hadn't raked any leaves.  About 6 p.m. our doorbell rang, and I opened it to find Sue there, steaming mad.  Apparently she had just returned home from work: she wore a silk blouse, tailored skirt, and high heels.  She had on tasteful makeup and jewelry, and her mane of dark blonde hair was up on her head.

Without pause, she entered my home and slapped me on the cheek, hard enough to send me reeling.  I turned back to face her, only to be met by another slap, this time from the other side.  Two or three more slaps rattled my jaw before I was able to seize both her wrists.  I wouldn't have thought it, but she was now even more furious than before, frustrated by her inability to hit me.  As I tried in vain to reason with her, she sent her stockinged knee flying at my crotch. I managed to avoid the first, but the second knee caught me directly in my crotch.  Doubling over in pain, I released her hands and she took advantage by grasping my hair and shaking my head violently.  Leading me around my house by my head, Sue berated me for not taking better care of my yard.

As she ranted, I regained some of my composure.  I wasn't going to let this small, feminine woman kick my ass in my own house.  I drew upright and grabbed her by her blouse, which immediately ripped.  "You'll pay for that!" she screamed, but I didn't listen.  Instead I threw her to the floor and quickly straddled her, knowing I could use my greater size and strength better on the floor.  Or so I thought!   Sue was a woman possessed, and her squirming made her impossible to hold.  Sue clawed and bit and slid out from under me.  And I became increasingly distracted, when trying to hold her down, by her now exposed chest.  A lacy bra covered her ample breasts.  She was like the description of the girl in the song "Rocky Top": "Half bear, other half cat...wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop..."  Well, the sweet part wasn't in evidence at the moment.  Before I knew it, I was face down on my living room floor, and Sue had me in a double hammerlock!  How could this be?  I outweighed her by a good forty pounds, and here she was outwrestling me.  In my helpless state, I couldn't resist as she slammed my head into the carpet or when she lifted up and dropped her pelvis forcefully on my lower back.

Now that I was dazed and foggy, Sue stood up.  She kicked me several times until I rolled over to my back, and then she began choking me with her high heeled shoe, all the time telling me what more she was going to do to me.  I gagged and kicked my feet, but her slender leg was more than enough to keep me pinned.  Just as I thought she'd kill me with her high heel on my throat, she let me up.  I choked and gasped for breath.  As I tried to recover, Sue ripped off my shirt and pants, leaving me in my underwear.  She also removed the remains of her own blouse and took off her skirt.

"Now it's going to get painful," she laughed.  My mind tried to register her words.  "Are you going to rake your leaves tomorrow?" asked Sue.  I didn't respond.  "We'll see," she said.  Grasping my hair, she pulled me to my feet, and then shoved me into a wall.  My head hit the wall hard.  I would have fallen down, but she held me there with a hand around my throat, her polished nails digging into my skin.  With her other hand she began working over my crotch-not in a sexual way.  She squeezed and twisted until tears ran down my cheeks.  Although my hands were free, I didn't have the strength or awareness to try to fight her off.

At that moment, my wife Linda walked in. She had been shopping, and she entered the living room to see me, nearly naked, with Sue's hand on my crotch.  Given that Sue was wearing only her bra, panties, and stockings didn't make the situation look any more innocent.  "Mark!!  Sue!!  What the hell are you two doing?!"

I wanted to explain, but Sue silenced me with a knee to my stomach that sent me to the floor, once again gasping for breath.  Linda got a chance to look at me and saw the bruised and scratches I'd suffered over that past ten minutes.  "Sue, what are you doing?  I'm calling the police!"  Sue jerked the phone out of her hand.

"Not so fast, Linda.  I'm just trying to teach your husband about responsibility.   Aren't I Mark?"  I moaned, unable to say much else.  "Look, Linda, when was the last time he cooked dinner?"

"Well, I don't know..."

"Washed the dishes?"

"Now that you mention it..."

"Did the laundry?  Vacuumed?  Face it, he needed straightening out."

Finally I regained my senses enough to get back to my feet.  As Sue explained herself to Linda, I caught her in a full nelson.  "Quick, Linda, call the police.  Or get some rope to tie her up!"

Sue began cursing and kicking, and once again I had a time trying to subdue her.  We bounced around the room.  Finally I got her face down on the sofa, and while she was kicking, she couldn't escape.

"Linda!" I called.  "Where are you-"

My words were cut off by Linda's hand clamping over my mouth.  Her other hand held my nose shut.  My own wife had turned on me.  I shook my head, trying to free myself from Linda's hands, but she held tight.

"Sue has a point, dear," she said.  I couldn't say anything through my wife's slender hand.  Finally, I released Sue in order to pry Linda's hands off my mouth; otherwise, I would've passed out.  Immediately Sue slid free and now both of them attacked me.

I forced Linda off my back, figuring Sue was the more dangerous opponent.  Almost immediately, Linda caught me from behind in a full nelson, just like I'd had Sue.  Sue smiled wickedly as she alternated between punching me in the stomach and kicking me in the solar plexus.  Linda released me after repeated blows and I dropped to the floor.

"I've got some rope," said Linda.  She and Sue smiled at each other.  After they hogtied me, I heard them enjoy a merry dinner together.  Their laughter rocked the house.  When they returned to the living room, Sue made me kiss her feet, and then my own wife, Linda, followed suit.

The next day I raked the leaves, while Sue and Linda sat and watched and laughed.  I was just waiting for a rematch...with both of them.